Hi! I’m Olaiya

I spent a lot of my life hating my body and cut off from my sexuality.

Growing up as the lone brown kid in my family and community, my earliest memories are of feeling out of place. I was always super anxious about not fitting in.

In the hope of looking more like the ultra-thin ideal of the 80s and 90s, I developed an eating disorder by my early teens.

When I started having sex, I was desperate for approval—equating sex with love and acceptance—and developed a completely performative sexuality.

I never took the time to learn what turned me on or what I liked (I don’t think the thought even crossed my mind!), focusing instead on my partners and prioritizing their pleasure over mine for years.

Eventually, I went to therapy and healed enough to let go of my eating disorder, but continued being hyper-critical of my body—forever trying to “fix” it with diets and workout plans—and cut off from my inherent sensuality.

It wasn’t until my thirties that I realized if I didn’t change something, I’d spend my entire life at war with my body and having unsatisfying, unfulfilling sex.

That felt like a pretty sad way to spend a life.

So I went back to therapy. I read books. I followed body-love coaches and influencers online. I learned about what self-love could look like.

I gradually stopped dieting and punishing myself with grueling workouts. It was scary AF at first. But I kept going. Until it stopped feeling frightening to eat to my hunger or exercise in ways that felt good to my body.

Eventually it started to feel wildly liberating.

It gave me the courage to look at how I could transform my relationship to my sexuality.

So I joined a sexual empowerment group for women of color led by the magnificent pleasure queen Ann Nguyen.

That group changed my life.

I felt safe enough there to start showing up as my full self. To explore the many ways I’d been cut off from my desire and to start to restore that connection.

I leaned into pleasure. I meditated. I did healing practices. I learned how to be my own best lover and touch myself in ways that were deeply pleasurable—so I could teach my partners how to touch me. I experienced mind-blowing orgasms that radiated through my whole being. I learned how to have energetic orgasms without even touching myself! I developed deep love and gratitude for my miraculous, curvy, delicious body.

Everything in my life shifted.

I felt radiant and powerful from the inside out. I felt more confident and free to show up as my authentic self everywhere I went—online and IRL. Old relationships that were no longer serving me fell away. New ones formed as I called in people who are more aligned with who I am now.

My partner and I made the decision to open our marriage and explore polyamory, which has been amazing and brought us closer together than I could ever have imagined. And I finally felt secure enough to claim my queerness.

I was so inspired by and grateful for my own journey, I got certified as a pleasure and empowerment coach so I can help other people hold themselves with deep self-love and revel in their sensuality.

I want to see you come home to yourself, fall in love with your body and experience deep pleasure and sexual bliss.

What if you could relate to your body as a miracle?

What if your believed pleasure was your birthright?

What if you could have the sort of sex that makes you glow from the inside out?

I’m here to show you how.❤️