How to Get Your Sexy Back
Image: Jessica Felicio
Over on the podcast, I asked you to share your questions about sex, love, dating, relationships and body love.
The question that I’ve received the most is some form of:
“I’ve lost touch with my sexuality after the past few years of pandemic life, parenting, working from home with a partner and general life stress. How do I get it back?”
So today I wanted to share one thing that’s really important for getting your sexy back if you’ve lost it.
And that is to OWN. YOUR. PLEASURE.
Because feeling sexy starts with you.
It doesn’t start with sexy lingerie. Or toys. Or furry handcuffs. Or even with your partner touching you in a certain way. (Though all of those things can be great!)
Getting in touch with your sexual energy starts within you.
Which doesn’t mean that you can’t share that sexual energy with someone else. Or that it can’t be heightened with someone else.
But at the core, you are responsible for taking care of your own sexual satisfaction.
This is something most of us aren’t taught.
I know I wasn’t.
I grew up waiting for some version of my prince charming to ride into my life and touch me in exactly the ways I wanted to be touched (even though I didn’t even know what those ways were for the longest time).
I had this idea that good sex happened when you met the right person and they intuitively just knew how to do all the things to make the fireworks happen. To always get you turned on and automatically give you mind blowing orgasms.
I have so much compassion for that version of me because that’s what I’d been raised to believe sexuality was like. That was what I saw in movies and books as I was growing up. Maybe that’s how you were raised too.
But that’s not how good sex works.
Good sex is all about being in your body and learning how to grow those toe-tingling sensations within yourself.
This is why owning your pleasure is so important. It puts the ability to grow your sexual energy and have better and better sex in your hands.
Which is powerful and which is exactly where you want it to be.
XO!❤️
Olaiya
