What REALLY Happens When You Stop Dieting
Image: Olaiya Land
How are you feeling about your body these days? Are you deeply in love with every inch of your beautiful, miraculous bod? Chances are the answer is no.
Many of us have struggled for years (or decades) with our body image. We’ve tried Atkins, Weight Watchers, keto, low-carb, intermittent fasting and beyond. (I once consumed nothing but water and coffee for 4 days in the name of “health”. Sigh.)
But guess what? THAT SHIT DOES NOT WORK.
Not in the long term anyway.
And repeated or long-term dieting totally messes with your hormones and your metabolism.
I started dieting at 12. It took me 3 freaking decades of serious yo-yo dieting and cycling between weight extremes to realize that, hmmmmm, maybe there’s a better way?
A couple years ago I read The F*ck It Diet by Caroline Dooner. This book changed my life y’all. It’s all about why diets don’t work in the long term, how they fuck up your body and brain and what to do instead. I highly recommend it if you’re interested in changing your relationship with food and your body.
So I took Caroline’s advice and....STOPPED DIETING.
I’m not gonna lie. That shit was scary as fuck. I was consumed with thoughts of What if I just eat and eat and never stop eating? What if I gain a gazillion pounds? What if I become a pariah and a social outcast?
Society tells us getting fat is worse than death, so of course it’s scary. (I want to be clear: I’m using the term fat with no judgment. All bodies are ok and I think it’s important to destigmatize the word fat.)
So What Happened When I Stopped Dieting?!?!?
(Spoiler Alert: The world did not end.)
At first, I ate a lot. I gave myself full and total permission to eat whatever I wanted. ALLLLL the forbidden foods. Ice cream. Bread. Pizza. Pop Tarts. The works.
I ate whatever and whenever I wanted to let my body and brain know we weren’t heading back into a famine (diet) state anytime soon.
Image: Olaiya Land
I gained weight. Enough to make me uncomfortable at times. Enough to make me wonder if I was really on the right path.
But when I was feeling worried or down, I reminded myself that going back to the misery and self-hate of a diet lifestyle was not an option.
I also did a major audit on my social media feeds. I unfollowed any accounts that made me feel bad about my body. I followed more accounts that promote body love, body neutrality, health at every size and body diversity.
Gradually, I began to trust the process. I was surprised at how quickly I no longer craved cake and cookies and cheeseburgers. All my forbidden foods just became completely uninteresting. The power they held over me just…dissolved.
I freaked out about this for a while. I had never, ever in my entire life not felt excited at the prospect of these restricted foods. But by removing the “naughty” label, the tension and desire vanished.
It was kind of like discovering that your tattoo-covered, emotionally detached crush collects beanie babies, is a Justin Bieber superfan and is actually extremely insecure. You might still like them as a friend, but the mystery and erotic charge is bound to dissipate.
I’ve actually become pretty uninterested in food. I anticipate this might change in the future. But I’m cool with it for now. It’s a nice change of pace from my former food obsession.
My weight stabilized. I’m at a size I feel good at. I’m strong and fit. Lately I’ve actually been losing a little weight. But even if that stops or I gain it back, I am happy with my body. (Please note: results vary for everyone in terms of weight gain/loss depending on genetics and on how long and how severely you’ve been restricting.)
Now that I’m not obsessed with losing weight, I have given myself permission to move in ways that feel good. I promised myself to only do exercise that I’d do regardless of its impact on my weight. For me that’s playing tennis, lifting weights, dancing, fan-girling over my new Peloton and walking. I love all of these and when I do them, I focus on how good they make me feel physically and mentally.
And probably most importantly, now that I’m not spending a huge chunk of time every week, meal planning, obsessing over food and over-exercising I have A LOT more time for other important things.
Like spending time with people I love (without stressing about whether they are going to want to eat food I “can’t” have). Reading. Gardening. Growing the Lionesse community. Devoting more attention to important social issues like racism and inequality.
I’m sure my body and my feelings about food will continue to evolve. But I feel confident I can handle whatever changes come my way. I no longer base my self-worth on how I look.
I feel strong, confident, sexy and capable. I am grateful for all the miraculous things my body does for me. (Shoutout to all my organs for keeping me alive!) And I am committed to taking care of it as much as it takes care of me.
It hasn’t been all confetti and unicorns. There were times I wanted to turn back to the familiar framework of dieting and obsessing over my weight.
But I’m so grateful that I kept going and have developed a love for my body and myself I never thought possible.
If you’ve been thinking of stepping away from diets, I want you to know it is possible. You might have to deal with the discomfort of your body changing as you stop depriving it. You will almost certainly have to face some uncomfortable emotions.
But no longer being at war with the beautiful, awe-inspiring vessel that is your body is so, so worth it.
If you want to learn how to take up more space, love yourself and your body more, show up as your authentic self and grow your confidence, get on the waitlist for my Live Fierce Workshop! There are only 12 spots available for this intimate, 6-week group experience. Our workshops usually sell out pretty quickly so if you need this in your life, click here and get on the list.
XO,
Olaiya
